Triangle
by Chimhill
Summary: Ashley got wrapped in the arms of another woman but will she beable to choose Spencer after they had the worst fight ever.
1. Chapter 1

**Triangle**

Recently I have been messing around. I have been holding so many secrets to myself and don't know whether I should tell Spencer of what's been going on lately. I got myself wrapped up in another woman; at first she helped me see who I am. Who I am as a person and that how amazingly I am. But then things started to get to intense.

She fell in love with me. She's on my mind constantly. I know I can't love her. I love Spencer too much to hurt her this way. But I can't seem to let this other women go.

I am lying here in my girlfriend's arms and she has no idea what's been going through my mind. I have been so good at hiding it from her but deep down im questioning so many things.

I see her looking at me, and I knew that this could end us or make us either way.

"Ash." I hear her say. I could feel her blue eyes burning into my brown ones. She is so beautiful. Yet I don't reply cause I know if I do, she's going to cry and I cant be the person to make her sad or hurt her even more than I already have.

"Ashley!" she shouts. Hitting me on the arm. I didn't move I kept lying there searching her eyes for any pain. But I knew I had to say something or else this will burden me for the rest of my life.

"What the fuck is going with you these days!" she yells. I see her ripping the sheets of my body, luckily I wasn't naked. She threw me out the bed and I landed flat on my ass.

"What the hell Spencer." I yell back.

"What the hell, you fucking been different with me for awhile now." She says. I could see her watery blue eyes as I felt the pain ripping through my own heart. My tears starts to fall cause I cant see her like this. But what do I tell her. That I don't know what I am feeling for her, that I keep both there hearts in the palm of my hands not knowing which one to let go off. Gosh this so hard on me. The fact that both these woman are so crazy about me and I don't want to let either of them go. Maybe I am selfish. But is it possible to love two people at the same time.

I didn't see it coming; it was already to late when I felt it against my head.

"Get the fuck out my house Ashley. Just go." She yells back at me.

"Spence please." I say back.

She threw her shoe against my ahead as I got up and took my clothes that was lying in a pile next to her bed. My tears seem to get more as my own heart crumble in pieces not knowing if I will ever see her again. That I might loose the one person who I showed my heart to, as her words break me even more.

This is how I realised I need to step back and think long and hard who the person is I want my forever with.

AN: do you guys want me to do a follow up cause this story is something that I really thought should get out of me.


	2. Chapter 2

**Part 2: Triangle**

"Ashley." I heard her calling my name.

"Yeah." I say. She walks in the room as her body sway from side to side. I must say she is the sexiest human being I have seen. But deep down I know this so wrong to be doing.

"How you been, haven't seen you for awhile now." I just kept watching her as she walks over to the bed.

"Been busy." I say.

"Been busy avoiding Me." she say.

"I am not. I told you I was busy, my life doesn't revolve around you alone." I tell her. As I sit up on the bed my back leaned against the headboard.

"How come I feel that you are lying to me, I mean I have told you everything about me and somehow I get the feeling you keeping something from Me." gosh I didn't need another lecture. I just miss Spencer so much, but this woman makes me forget for awhile. There were times when I am at school on my laptop, yeah I take it with me and we will just chat whole day about just everything. She's married though she has a child. But I can't seem to stop thinking about her then there is Spencer. I am in love with Spencer no doubt in my mind, she's the first person I ever said I love you too.

"I gave you all my time already." I tell her getting annoyed. Gosh I can't do this anymore. This is getting too much for me. I am so confuse. Is this love or is it lust. The fact that she gives me the chills right through my whole body. I remember the first time I met her; she was just a random chick that happened to be at my Dad's concert with some friends. I dint know at first she was married but all I know we had a connection. There was a definite pull towards her. But in my heart I knew someone heart is going to broken but who's I don't know.

"Gosh Ashley I am so in love with you. I don't normally do this I mean I am happily married but with you. You're an amazing person I wish I met you earlier. We could've done it together." She says.

"Done what together." I ask her.

I could see she's getting pissed now at me.

"Don't play dumb you know what I mean." She says as she got up and paced the room. I could feel myself falling for this woman. In a weird cosmic world. I wish I could have then both. I almost ask her one day, do you want to have a threesome with me and my girlfriend but I thought about it and stopped.

"How's Spencer." She asks me. Yes she knows about Spencer but Spencer doesn't know about her.

"I don't know." I tell her. I know never to talk about Spencer if I know what's good for me.

"You lying Ash. If I found out you lying, then this is over. You and I are over for good. Don't even try to get in touch." She tells me.

"I promise you. I want you not her." but in my heart I know who I really want. But I don't want to let this go. She crawls back up the bed as she comes to sit on top of my legs as her body send all kinds of shocks through me. She is so sexy. Believe when I say.

"Ash. I want you. I want you to be all mine. I don't want to share you." she tells me. My body slide down as she come lay completely on top of me as I feel her warm hands massage my breast through my shirt. My gosh it feels so good when she does that. I could feel my shirt being pulled over my head as she stares at my chest that's just covered by my bra.

"Carmen." I say. And she captured my lips, as she her tongue slip right through my lips.

"I want you Ash. Do you want me as much as I want you." she whisper into my mouth.

"Yeah. I want you. Fuck." I say as I felt her suck on my nipples right through my bra. Not to long my bra flew the other side of my room as all our clothes flew all over the bedroom. We both naked and she is so fucking good with that tongue, the minute she sucked my clit I could feel my world going all hazy as she worked me up to a frenzy damn women. Gosh. I felt her tongue sucking in and out as I could feel my legs becoming all jittery and jelly. This is the best sex I ever had and it's not even with the girl I do love.

We were both lying there after the intense moment we both shared. As great as this was my heart feels like I have done the worst act I could have ever done. I promised her I won't hurt her, but yet I did.

How will I look into her eyes knowing I have cheated on her?

How is this ever going to change? Gosh I hate myself I don't blame anyone. I blame myself for it. Cause I had the choice of walking away. And be happy with Spencer. But my heart just don't want Carmen to walk out my life. She's special to me, I care about her.

"I love you Ash." She says into my neck as she fell asleep holding me tight.

"You too Carmen." I tell her. Even though I don't really feel it. Cause deep sown I know she doesn't belong to me.

How am I ever going to fix this?

_**AN: what do you guys think. Reviews are always welcome. Think still one or two chapters then its done?**_


	3. Chapter 3

**Part 3**

I was lying awake after I heard her leave my room. This is what happens every time she comes over. But my thoughts are still flooded of all that is Spencer. How can I even question my love for her? Yes Carmen gives me all the chills and the flutters but deep down I know it can't be love or can it. Gosh this is getting way too much for me to handle some days I feel like I just want to run away and let go of them both. Then there are questions like who's heart do I break the person I swear to over and over I will never break her heart or the person who wants to end her marriage and wanting me to raise her family with her.

I know what I got myself into but yet I can't pull myself from out of either of them.

If only I could make up my mind and see what is in front of me.

I heard my cell phone go off as a text came through. I leaned over to my night stand as I flip the phone open reading a message from Spencer.

**I can't sleep it feels like my day incomplete not chatting with you. Spencer**

Reply

**I don't know Spence I miss you too but I feel like I need to take time to myself**

1 Message Received

**Ok if that's what you think will help. I understand even if it's so hard for me. Just know that I love you. I will miss you baby. Spencer**

**I will miss you too and I love you know that, just don't cry baby.**

1 Message Received

**I'm sorry I can't seem to stop crying. I hope you find what you looking for.**

**I can't seem to stop the tears from falling. **

After that I didn't reply again. Because I could feel her heart breaking I could feel my own tears burning in my eyes as the warm drops run down my cheeks. I didn't feel the need to wipe it. I role over on my side and saw her picture standing there, she was so happy those eyes wasn't meant to cry, it is for happiness. But yet I can't move. And yet I can't let Carmen go either.

Running away is that the easy way out. When you know you have broken somebody's heart. So many people say that I always do the right thing but yet I feel like I am not worthy of there love. That they can do better then me. That there is someone out there that can make both these girls happy. I am just here to hurt them. I ask them both once what is it about me that attracts people to me; they said it was my heart. They said that I always put others needs ahead of myself. That I have the ability to make people feel so at ease that they fall instantly but yet I don't see that.

I don't see what everyone else see's in me.

Sometimes I wish things was different you know. Being me. Being the girl who's got the hearts of two woman and not knowing if I can do this to either of them. I feel guilty because Spencer has invested so much of her in me. Sometimes I feel like if it's real what I am feeling.

I got up from the bed as I walk over to my desk taking out a note book. I never use to do this you know writing down my emotions, its hard for me to open up completely to people who know me. It's much easier with people who don't know me personally. She was on my mind and this is what I feel every time I thing about her.

What I am Feeling (My own feelings)

What if one day you meet this amazing person and you know that you have waited your whole life for this.

To feel this connection with someone who you cant get of your mind.

To feel this person's arms around you.

I met someone who I never thought it's possible to love someone like this

I am forever wrapped up in the thoughts of her.

She brings a smile to my face

I can't sleep at night because she consume my every thought

My body aches for her

An ache I never knew I would ever feel

I am so crazy that my mind can't think straight.

How is it possible that this stranger I have never met in my life can have such a huge part over me?

And I can't stop myself from thinking it isn't possible

That what I feel is faked

That the smile on my face is fake

That the feelings I have is fake

If it was fake

Whatever that may feel like

This what I am feeling is real

More real than I would ever imagined it would be

Because what I am feeling isn't something I can explain

I feel like my heart want to burst in my chest

I feel like my smile appears to be bigger every day

I walk around with this feeling of contentment

I feel all warm and fuzzy

Hearing her voice soothes me.

What is fake I don't know

But what I am feeling is more real

I wish I could just be with her

Hold her

And tell her that everything will be okay

Because in my heart I feel it

I feel the love come without me

I feel her heart every time she calls me

I hear the laughter in her voice

I hear the happiness in her words

I feel so happy knowing she's happy

Whatever is fake?

Whatever this is

I know it's not fake

Cause if my heart could feel this love

Cause if I could fall harder every day

She gives me sleepless nights

Cause I lay around thinking of her

Thinking of what she's doing

Thinking does she think about me the way I think about her

Because this isn't fake

This is real

This is love

This is true love

This is me

This is what I feel

Because this isn't fake

This is how love feels

Real

I couldn't believe I actually wrote her a poem.

Spencer. I call her name out as I got up but first hiding the note book if whenever Carmen comes by. I need to end it. I need to tell Carmen I am in love with Spencer, I mean I told her. The first time I met Carmen I told her I have a girlfriend but yet I made the stupid mistake saying there isn't a girlfriend. I just hope it's not too late to tell Spencer it's her I want. It's my heart aches for. It's her love that inspires me. It's her love and trust in me that helps me be a better person. She's my muse.

_**AN: I hope you guys are loving this story. Cause I am definitely enjoying writing it. It was inspired by certain individuals. **_

_**Reviews are always welcome.**_

_**What Hurts The Most will be on hold for awhile. It will be back don't worry will take a few days or so.**_

_**Thanks to all my readers.**_


	4. Chapter 4

**Part 4**

It's been a week since I wrote that poem to Spencer, I haven't heard from her yet. I also haven't heard from Carmen either it's like she just disappeared into thin air but I keep thinking about her. Why that is when I want Spencer then all of a sudden thoughts of her comes flooding back in my mind.

Well I was standing in front of Spencer's door that night. I was going to tell her this whole speech of why I have been acting that way with her the morning she threw me out her house. I was stood there I could hear her voice over the phone to Kyla and I knew I was in big shit. Kyla is my sister but she would always take Spencer's side over mine. Maybe because she is married to Glen Carlin. That makes them closer even though Kyla is my half sister she and I were never close. As in buddy buddy, we usually fight every chance we get.

When I heard my name and crying I left the white envelope with her name attach to the door knob. Maybe it's for the best to give her time. She gave me time all right.

Now I found myself lying here with memories off both of them. This past week drove me insane. You won't believe I have been tossing and turning at night, I can't sleep. Sometimes I feel like I can't breathe.

Is it possible that I am selfish to want them both? Cause I do. I mean I am still young I can still decide who my forever is. The way Spencer has been avoiding is bad and the way Carmen just disappeared hurt me even more. No one loves me. I feel so unloved right now. All I do is cry, cry over the hearts I have broken over the last few months.

Who wants to be with someone like me? I mean I had it all, a beautiful girlfriend who would do just about anything for me and I had Carmen who made me feel good for a moment.

But yet I messed up. So this space they both giving me is really driving me insane, I should choose I know but I cant it's been going a month yet I still don't know.

Maybe I should just hook up with Aiden and let all this feelings be put to use into him. I mean Aiden and myself had a thing going for awhile. Before Spencer, I remember a time when I told Spencer that I loved him. That I was planning on marrying him and have his kids. We were going to move in together but then that changed my feelings for Aiden just vanished. It was like I was so in love with him but yet all I can think off is the beautiful blonde standing at the beach front her arms resting on the balcony of her beach house. The blonde hair blowing up the air. Gosh I use to stare at her from Aiden's balcony and what I saw I liked very much. Her beautiful skin is so milky, just touching it's so soft.

I didn't know at the time I was into girls I mean for someone who's been dating just boys to all of a sudden feel things for girls was just out of left field. The minute I knew I was into girls were the night I met Spencer at a party of Aiden's, I can't exactly remember what we were celebrating but the minute I lay eyes on the blue eyes. Gosh I was a goner. She just stirred things in me.

Through the night we would pass each other or I will hand her a glass of wine, and I would lightly brush my finger tips on her skin. It was so soft. That night I found out what it's really like to fall in love. I mean love at first sight is just a myth but that was real. Every night after that if Aiden was off playing games with the guys I would either call her up to go for late night dinners or we'll chat over the phone for hours. It was something I would look forward to every night after work. My relationship with Aiden became dull; there was no spark in it. Nothing.

One night Aiden was out of town and I went over to Spencer's when I got there she was dressed only in her lingerie. I guess that's how she goes to bed.

It didn't take us long. I mean I knew it was bound to happen the flirting was always there. She use to say it's just innocent. Innocent my ass.

She pushed me up the door as she attacked my neck. Kissing all the way around my jaw. Gosh I couldn't even push her away cause next thing I know I picked her up and put her on the kitchen table. I was standing in between her legs as she pulled me in. I captured her lips. Its was the most seductive lips ever. It was so soft and tasty. Her tongue was doing a little dance as it covered my cavern. She was so hot. My hands went around as I unclasp her bra falling to the lap. She brushed it off going back to my lips. My own lips start to move down her neck as she throws her neck backwards as I kiss down her neck sucking on her pulse point. The heat between us was over whelming. I kissed down her breast bone as I captured a rosy nipple into my mouth circling it with my tongue. I could feel it getting harder. I did the same to the other one as my hands moved lightly down her tone stomach. My fingers start to run up and down her inner thigh. I could see her eyes becoming darker with each touch.

I pushed her more up the table as I bend down to get to the spot I know she wants me. I was rubbing her clit through the underwear knowing this is going to send her even more over the edge. I could feel the heat.

"Take it off." I heard her say out of breathe. I stared at her. As I obliged and did just what I was told I took the underwear off slowly as I am met with her wetness. I knew she was turned on because the ache between my own legs was throbbing. I couldn't resist her anymore I got to have her.

I spread her legs open as I was bending down and captured her clit sucking in and out with my tongue. The taste of her felt good. Not at all weird, like I thought it would be. My hand was pressed onto her stomach but not to hard. As she was bend over legs apart with my face in there.

My finger were gently stroking the nerve of her clit as it swelled even more making me come right there an then. I didn't even wait for her to do me. As my own hand went down my pants and into my underwear. I was still busy inside of her. I entered her with two fingers as one finger entered me. Her cries made me go faster, pumping harder into both of us. We were both screaming the others names as we both got to the climax of orgasm. This was great. We both came at the same time as we both just took a moment to breathe and come down to earth. I pulled out of myself as I saw Spencer looking at my fingers that was inside of me and pull it towards her mouth sucking on it like it was covered in chocolate. Gosh this woman is going to be the death of me.

That was my first time with a woman and I am glad it was with her.

Now here I am lying in the darkness thinking of what I have lost.

I lost the love of my life and wish I could have that again. She loved me ever since that day and I hurt her over and over. So why should I expect her to forgive me. To love me.

I wrote this poem for her knowing she will never get the chance to see it.

_Drops from above_

_Drip drip on my windowsill_

_As I know this dripping will drive me insane_

_The constant taping of the water leak is coming through_

_I sit and stare at the water drips falling_

_My own emotion swaying as the water comes more and more _

_Is it ever going to stop?_

_Will it ever end?_

_Will this feeling ever go away?_

_But I know the dripping will be constant_

_The emotion will be there _

_The water will go on falling_

_Cause my tears is just like the dripping_

_Cause my heart is the fallen droplets falling from the sky_

_**AN: this is becoming a great story to write. I hope you guys love it because I am. Who knows maybe it will become another long one like WHTM.**_

_**If you want me to continue pop me a review.**_

_**It's always welcome.**_

_**Thanks for all the reviews I received on Triangle.**_

_**I feel like some people can't differentiate from reality to fiction.**_

_**And that is sad though. Enjoy what you reading without bashing. If you have a problem then just move pass.**_


	5. Chapter 5

**Part 4**

_**Dear Ashley**_

_**I think of you day and night babe, not sure if I can live without chatting with you.**_

_**I have found a friend, lover and everything dear in yourself. You are so beautiful, with that naughty cute smile, that seductive lips, a face that makes one smile one smile if they look at it and most of all that charming personality and not forgetting a heart of gold. Babe lately I have been having mood swings, I don't know what is happening these days, I find my husband annoying at times and I just freak out on him. One minute I am happy and the next I am angry or depressed. I just want to be left alone at times.**_

_**I wish you came into my life earlier, we could have been together. You are the best babe. I want you so badly, I want to experience something magical with you, I want to take you places where nobody took you to before, I want to take you to heights that you haven't even reached yet.**_

_**I mean right now my mind is doing somersaults, I can't concentrate, I want to be near you, and I want to experience you. I want us to be together, can't you see how totally insane and crazy I am over you Ashley. I look at your pictures and I drive myself mad, thinking whether you feel that same way about me too. I am in love with a girl, never thought it would ever be possible, but it is.**_

_**Ashley, I f I don't have you in my life, I will die. You mean the world to me, babe.**_

_**My mind is thinking all sorts of things about you, do you always have that affect on people. I can't stop thinking about you. I feel so freakishly crazy babe.**_

_**Love**_

_**Carmen**_

That was the first email I received from her yesterday. Gosh I have been reading this email over and over. And the poems I kept writing Spencer, her text messages. Both these woman deserves someone who could be there for them. I don't think I can do this any longer.

As I was about to get up another incoming mail.

You have one email.

_**Dear Ashley**_

_**I feel like I am losing you. I know you thinking that our relationship will never go anywhere. I mean I'm in a marriage because of my daughter, and on the other side there are you, someone who I love and want to be with. Do you think its best if we separate? **_

_**All I want is happiness for you. I wish my life wouldn't be the way it is now. The thought of losing you is killing me. Not sure if I can handle it babe. Am not sure about you though, you seem to want to get away from me. **_

_**Please make a decision about us, and be honest. I got a heart of stone, I think. I don't want to loose you babe, I can't. I feel so depressed right now with the situation between us. I lost so many people that I love in my life, it took me some time to hide the pain, then you came along and it all just came out. You made me believe in myself, nobody ever could open me up that way not my husband not my friends here, only you, but not having you with me is going to kill me. All I want is to be close to you, I could be in the room with you not having conversation or anything, just starring at you will satisfy me.**_

_**Love**_

_**Carmen**_

That was the last email I read before I took my laptop and threw it against the wall. The pieces falling to the floor the way my heart is falling into pieces. The fact that I haven't decided which way to go. Is it Spencer is it Carmen? I can't do it. I can't choose. I walked over to my drawer as I take out a note book. I haven't seen Kyla in awhile either but I guess this is the only way to go.

I sat down jotting down three notes for each one of them. Spencer's one was more heartbreaking to write because I believe she is my true love but yet I messed that up. I told her everything about Carmen and why I have been acting the way I have. That hopefully one day she will find it in her heart to forgive me. This has just gotten out of hand. It would be for the best for everyone involve.

My second note went to Carmen. In it I told her that I care about her very much. That I have fallen for her but my love for Spencer was much stronger to ever be with her. The fact that she was married was another big issue. An innocent child was caught in all this and I am not going to be the one to ruin that. Even though we have already had an affair while she was married was wrong on my side but I just can't be that person she wants me to be.

The third note went to my sister. I know that she will most probably be happy I am out Spencer's life. She was the only person who knew about the relationship I had with Carmen. We may hate the other but she will never spill my secret I always wondered why she never told Spencer is gone to go knock on Carmen's door.

Well Carmen will be okay. I haven't told you this but Aiden is the husband. I never knew until one day I saw the picture of them in her bag. I never told her I knew him once either. After Aiden and I broke up he moved to Europe and I never heard of him since two years back. He was still in love with me. We met a few times but he never told me he was married and had a daughter. Carmen's daughter is his. They looked like the perfect family. But deep down I knew Carmen wasn't happy at all. She was just like me when I dated him. We pretend and live a double life seeking someone else and find comfort in the arms of a stranger. I met her at my Dad's concert.

I took all three notes and put it in its individual envelope. I wrote the addresses on and out the door to the closest Post Office.

When I got back home I made some calls and found out if my dad is still on tour.

He told me yes that if I am still interested to join him I can. I didn't say anything. I just said I will think about it.

I went into my bedroom taking out my luggage as I threw every clothing article I can find in my cases. This was it. This was the end of this chapter as heartbreaking this is going to be on all three of us. I think this way will be better. Because I cant do this with them any longer. There lives will be much better without me.

The thought of actually walking away from it all is hurting me so much. My tears can't seem to stop. As I walked to my bedroom door starring at the mess on the floor and the pictures of her smiling face. I am going to miss her the most.

I will always love her. I know she will meet someone and get married and start a family. Maybe not right away but I know she will get over this. Get over me.

"Goodbye Spencer." I say in a soft voice as I take my Gucci bag and my luggage as I walk out my house not even looking back. I put my bags in my car and walked to the driver's side opening my Porches' door.

I pulled out of the drive way and down the road. As I drove past every significant place I have shared with them both.

"Goodbye Carmen." I said. As my tears became more.

I saw on the board.

YOU ARE LEAVING CALIFORNIA.

HOPE YOU HAD A MEMORABLE STAY.

And that was it. I left my life behind and two beautiful women I loved so much.

The End.

_**AN: well there it is guys. The ending. I am going to come back with an epilogue then its all done. It has been a good run for me. I dedicate this chapter to all of you.**_

_**You are all special. And to my heart who's been very supportive I love you?**_

_**Do you guys want this to be the end or do you want an epilogue.**_


	6. Chapter 6

**Epilogue**

**To Triangle**

It was finally the day I have been dreading for the last few months. The day my editor told me that my book will get published, I wasn't that thrilled because the selection of poems wasn't for the public to read but one special person. She has been my inspiration from the start. Let's go back to how I became the next poet.

_Flashback_

_After leaving California to pursue a career in singing with my Dad, yeah that is where the road leads me to. New York City with my Dad and his band Purple Venom. It was a great experience at first woman and men were all over me. I start writing my own lyrics and in between I wrote several poems. It was the only thing that got me through the time on the road. I made the biggest mistake of my life leaving the way I had._

_It took me a whole year to get the courage to call her up. I was terrified of the phone being smacked down in my face, but what can I expect what I've done was wrong._

_The phone was ringing as I bit my lip of being afraid to hear her voice. It wasn't long when I heard a hello, but it wasn't Spencer's voice coming through._

"_Hello." I heard the voice saying._

"_Hello. Is anyone there." I couldn't recognise the voice but in the background my heart soon when I heard the voice of Spencer. Who is it, she ask the girl answering. Then I heard an I don't know. Gosh pass the damn phone already. That's when I heard Spencer saying the person's name and the phone dropped to the floor as I couldn't stop the pain through my heart as I fell down to the ground._

_I couldn't believe it either but it was expected that she would move on, and I did too. I dated a few girls in between but my heart never let them in to where I can say I was actually falling for them. I quit my singing career and just start pouring my heart out into poetry. _

_One day as I was writing Ocean's Apart_

Ocean's Apart

Day after day I try to tell myself that this will get better

Day after day I sit and wait as I drive myself insane

But whatever it takes

Remember that I will always be here waiting

Distance might be the only thing keeping us apart

I will swim the deepest of seas to get to you

The ocean may be steep but I will take the chance to be there for you

No matter how much my heart may break

Knowing you so faraway

I drive myself insane over you

Day after day

I sit at the ocean watching the blue seas coming towards me

But all I am thinking that you are sitting on the other end

Day after day waiting on me

No matter how faraway we are

Deep in my soul you're there every night

If love can do this to me

If love can be so strong

If we can survive this romance

Cause baby all I need is you

No ocean will come between us

Cause day after day I drive myself insane

Wherever you go

Whatever you do

My love will wait for you

No ocean will come between us.

_As I was sitting writing this a lady came out of nowhere and asks if she can read it. I didn't at first but she seem to not letting it be as I gave her the note book I have written so many poems in already_

_I see her eyes scanning each word with a tear drop in the corner of her eye. She looked up and wipes the tear a way._

"_That bad." I ask her. She kept smiling._

"_No that good. You should really get this published." She said. Taking something from her bag._

"_I am not publishing those its private." I say as she hands me the card as I read._

_Hayley Dobson Publications._

"_Whoever this is about should be able to read about it and know how you feeling." She says. She went to go sit down on the vacant chair opposite me as we start to just chat about my writing._

_We started seeing more of each other until she actually got me to publish the collection. I could see Hayley falling for me but I wasn't looking for anything or anyone. I just wanted Spencer but she met someone already._

_Hayley and I dated but the constant chat about Spencer drove her away. Not that I was looking for anything serious anyway._

_End of Flashback_

I tried hard to stop thinking about that night and here I am two years later in California at my first book signing. Kyla and I have become quite close because she gets to spend more time with our Dad, whenever she use to come visit. I never asked her about her cause the letter I received from Spencer was clearly stating what she feels for me.

Kyla handed me a letter on it was just written read.

I opened it up.

And scanned her every word.

_**Dear Ashley**_

_**It's been two years now. I still can't get why you had to leave like you did. The way you tore my heart to pieces. All the lies and the cheating you've been doing all through our relationship. I thought we were meant for each other. You asked me to not to ever leave you but yet you did. You did the cowards thing by leaving me a note not even a proper goodbye. Did you think that was the best way to break my heart? I was in depression for almost a year cause of what you have done my life seemed to be not worth living anymore cause of your actions.**_

_**I know it was you that night calling. I can't believe you ever think that I could hold a grudge against you.**_

_**Also the person who picked up the phone is her, she told me everything. That you were fucking Aiden's wife. What were you thinking Ash? Gosh until this day I still love you but I can't get over the fact you been hurting me so much. All this time I thought it was me, the fact that I didn't give you enough love. But it was you all along.**_

_**That note you wrote me, why you had to write a note. Why couldn't you do it face to face? Gosh I am still trying to move on. I never could and Kyla told me that you have been writing. **_

_**Congratulations. That is all I can say.**_

_**Part of me will always love you Ashley Davies.**_

_**Best wishes**_

_**Love **_

_**Spencer C**_

That was it. Tears were forming in my eyes as I saw people coming towards me to get their books signed. I lost the love of my life and it was my own doing I cant blame anyone. Not Spencer not Carmen nobody but me. I am a coward, she's right about that. I never meant to hurt her. Neither of them. But life just got too much for me. I wanted to end my own life. I did end it when Kyla came barging through my bedroom door finding me on the floor with blood coming through my wrist. I wanted her to let me die; I didn't deserve to breathe anymore. I have broken Spencer's spirit. I made her believe that the reason I did what I did was her fault that she didn't love me enough but it was me not loving her enough.

What is next for me? What is next for us? I still love her. I am still in love with her. But this letter explains it all I should just let it all go.

I couldn't do this anymore as I got up from my seat and telling Hayley I need to take a break.

I walked out the bookshop. My feet were in control of my whole body as it leads me to the place I have considered special for years. Our first date, our first kiss, our late night walks. This was the place that holds a special place in my heart. I walked closer as I scanned with my finger tips the names SC / AD in the pole. I did this so many years ago and it's still visible.

"You should go after her, before it's late. I know it's her. It's always been her. Don't make a stupid mistake like you did by writing notes. I couldn't understand it at first until I went to go see how much that women loves you." I turn around seeing her standing their. As she turns her face towards a raven haired girl running around playing with her father. Aiden.

It's been so long ago since I've seen her.

"Carmen." I say out soft. My own tears not wanting to stop.

"Ashley. I understand what you've done was a cowardly act, but that over there is my life I came to accept that I am not going to hurt that little angel. I am sorry for everything I have done to you and Spencer. I was selfish to want you all to myself and still being with him. So go, go find her and make her understand. Cause life is too short to give up on love. Apart of me will love you always." And with that she walked away. She walked into his arms not looking back as she holds him tight with their little girl tagging along after them.

That's what I want. That is the life I want but how. Will she forgive me?

_**AN: Well there is the End of Triangle. I am thinking of coming back and do a sequel. I will let you all know. As I know most of you thought Ashley was being a coward. But she is only human. Love never runs smooth believe me. I went through it. She thought she did the best by giving both of them a clean break but that wasn't in the cards. **_

_**I am definitely coming back to see where that leaves her and Spencer will she find her again.**_

_**Thanks again for all the reviews and comments.**_

_**To two special people Glenda and Meka.**_

_**Thanks you guys for the constant feedback and encouraging words.**_

_**Love chimhill**_


	7. Chapter 7

_**AN: Hi there guys so after much thinking about the sequel to Triangle.**_

_**I am happy to announce to you all that there will be a sequel.**_

_**Its called Ocean's Apart**_

_**By when it will be up well I can't say yet.**_

_**But will do my best to get the first chapter on here.**_

_**I have slacked a bit on my main story WHAT HURTS THE MOST.**_

_**So I will dedicate my time there for now.**_

_**Till later**_

_**Chimhill**_


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